A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”

“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”

 

Man before Marriage is like Airtel….
“Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”

After Marriage He’s Like Hutch…
“Whereever U Go Our Network Follows.”

 

Shadi kernay aur mobile
kharidnay k baad aik hi baat
ka afsos hota hay kaash
thori dair aur ruk jaatay
to acha model mil jata

 

True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.

Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!

 

It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered

 

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

 

Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”

 

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

 

One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.

Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

 

Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?

A: He is given his last chance to run away

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

 

Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays

 

Once a man saw a board outside his friend's office and it said
''B.A.'' next to his name, but after a week it said ''M.A.''

So he asked his friend how he got his master's degree so quickly. The
friend replied that last week his wife died so he put on the board
B.A. [bachelor again]. But then he married once more so he put on the
board M.A. [married again]

 

Things in boys room!

Before Marriage:

Perfumes, Love Letters, Gifts, Friendship Cards

After Marriage:

Pain Killers, Loan Papers, Unpaid Bills, List for Shopping

Happy Unmarried Life

 

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

 

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.

 

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

 

Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married ma

 

Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"

 

It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered

Husband: malang baba meri bivi bohat pareshan karti hai
Koi hal batao.
Malang: beta agar bivi ka hal hota to main malang kyun hota

 

Do you know why the spelling of women starts with W?
Because all questions in the world start with W!
Such as
Who
Why
What
When
Which
Whom
Where

 

1 saheli dusri se: tumhara sbse zyada khyal kon karta hai?
Mera pati
Aur sbse acha kon lagta hai?
Tera pati.
Oh khuda!
Humari aadat kitni milti julti hai.

 

Husband to wife: tum meri zindagi ho aur……..
Wife: aur kia?
Tell me aur kia?
Wife shouted: tell me aur kia?
Husband: aur lanat hai aisi zindagi pe.

 

Ek admi apni bivi ko dafna ke ghar aaya to Asman per bijli karakne lagi aur toofan aa gaya, aadmi asman ki taraf dekh kr bola: lagta hai POHANCH GAI….

 

Employee :
Sir Ab Meri Salary Barha Dain Meri Shadi Ho Gai Hy..
Boss :
Company Se Bahar Hone Wale Haadson K Liye Company Zimmedar Nahi Hoti..!

 

Wife 2 husband,

Aaj mere tann, mann mein aag laga den
husband ne patrol phenk k aag laga di

moral?
'jazbat ka izhar aasan alfaz mein karein'